My Vipassana experience

The past few months have been an inward journey for me as I took a sabbatical from work and decided to focus on my first love- Photography. Spending quality time with family was also on the agenda as my busy schedule had given me very little time to be with them. After spending a good one and a half months at my parent’s place I decided to spend some time with my elder sister who stays in Bhopal. It was here that my sister’s friend asked me whether I would be interested in pursuing Vipassana.

I remember reading an update of a Facebook friend, Sumant Batra, where he had described his Vipassana experience in a vivid manner. I read it, felt happy for him and conveniently forgot. But the mention of Vipassana coming up for the second time somehow seemed like a signal. Also, I had been meditating for a while the result of which I had turned less reactive and a calmer person.  

 I immediately opened the website, filled the application form and starting waiting for the confirmation. The confirmation came the very next morning. I was excited and nervous. The confirmation came to me around mid October and I was supposed to undertake the course in late November.

Around mid November is when reality started hitting me again. Taking a vow of silence for 10 days, no internet, eating only satvik food, and no dinner made it all seem like a mini prison in a way. Nevertheless, I took it as a challenge upon myself. I remember confiding my fears to Rochie, a dear friend. Her reply to my fear was, “if you like it then you like it and if it feels like prison take it as your bad karma going away”. What she said made sense to me and I again started looking forward to the course.

It was finally 20^th November, the day I was supposed to reach Rahaka for my first ever Vipassana course. I remember being utterly nervous in the car. Upon reaching (it was around 4 pm) I was asked to submit all valuables including my wallet and mobile to the office authorities.  I promptly did so and entered the campus. I was allotted a single room with all basic amenities. It had a bed, pillow, mattress and a chair. I suddenly heard something that sounded familiar, yes, I heard peacocks around me. I had just got my silver lining. J

All attendees were asked to assemble in the dining hall at 6:15pm. I saw a lot of other first timers looking nervous like myself. Honestly, it did feel a little comforting then to see others too feel the same way as I did. Most of us got busy introducing ourselves and asking why we’d decided to undergo Vipassana. What most people were looking for was peace and a purpose in life. Surprisingly, I was looking for neither for reasons that even I didn’t know. At around 8pm on the same day was when we all took the vow of silence.

During the course, all meditators are required to be up by 4 in the morning, have only two meals a day, not communicate in any way (including gestures) with the fellow meditators and not observe/follow any rituals that you practice otherwise. The first three days we were taught ‘Annapana’, which is a technique that involves watching one’s breath in a designated area.

The mornings were beautiful, I am a late riser which doesn’t allow me to watch sunrise very often but these 10 days I made it a point to watch the sun rise up in the sky. I was perfectly comfortable meditating till the afternoon session but after that was when I would start missing my usual life. The phone calls, my books, and everything else material. I remember counting days during my spare hours. The best part of the day was in the evening hours when I would just watch the peacocks trotting or perched up on the tree against the setting sun.

On the fourth day, all of us students were introduced to the technique of Vipassana which involves observing one’s body sensations in a non reactive manner. I had a thousand questions, each day I would sleep wondering what the next day would be like.

By the fifth day I started getting utterly anxious, and yes, I was partly bored too. I was fickle, my whole body hurt from sitting the entire day and the lack of communication was driving me nuts. This was probably one of the only days when I wanted to get up and ask the teacher to let me go back home. But, I stayed.

The seventh day was when I started to feel a difference; I felt more at peace than before. Slowly the course was inching towards its end. The tenth day was when we broke our vow of silence. We were given back our valuables. I was short of words, I didn’t know what to say. For once I didn’t want to return to a normal life. I felt cleaner, lighter, it felt like a burden had suddenly been lifted off me.  Another thing I noticed was that my arthritis pain had reduced considerably and I had a healthy glow on my face that I hadn’t seen in a long time.

Today it’s been almost two weeks since I came back home and I long to be back. Vipassana has definitely been a life changing experience and I am thankful that I got a chance to experience it. This note is just my way of letting others who want to do the course know that it’s doable. It’s tough but it’s worth it. After all anything that makes us a better person is worth trying at least once.